


I just wanna know what's on your mind

by giuliamistyeyed



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Caring!Josh, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, sad!tyler, sleepers chapter 01 inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 09:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giuliamistyeyed/pseuds/giuliamistyeyed
Summary: Tyler feels insecure about himself and Josh is there for him.





	

We're just arrived in New York, New Jersey. I'm glad we can finally get out of this bus and maybe go around a bit. I just love to go around, it's one of the many benefits of this life. Sometimes it feels like we're everywhere and nowhere at the same time, as if we're touring around the world but we're missing it and we're only seeing its venues. When I'm eighty and my grandkids will ask me what was it like when I was touring I don't wanna tell them about all the dressing rooms that I saw. So, even if sometimes it's hard to even find a way out of the venue and remember it, I always try and I'm going to do so right now too.  
"Hey Ty, we're arrived and I'm going around the city, are you coming?" I ask Tyler who is still laying in his bunk. Going out with him it's always better than going out by myself. "No man, just go I'll stay here a little bit more" I barely hear his answer. It's not surprising, he doesn't like to go around as much as me, he easily gets anxious especially in these big cities, so I'll just deal with it and get out by myself since that I know the crew is going to stay and set the stage up and stuff.  
As always, time flies by and a couple of pictures and skateboard tricks with fans later, it’s late, the sun is set and it’s time to come back. The sight that welcomes me back is almost heavenly: the lights are all off except for the ones directly on the stage, there’s only the soft sound of the oh so familiar ukulele around me and then right there on the middle of the stage, there’s an angel in all his beauty. It’s almost funny how he’s just standing there, eyes closed and hands automatically playing the familiar tune and yet he looks like the most beautiful creature on this world to me. I’m just enchanted. But then, as I snap out of this blur of bliss, I notice that there’s something wrong, little clues start to become clear to my mind. He’s playing a different version of the song, it’s gloomier, slower and more nostalgic. He’s also wearing his safe-hoodie, the one with the Ohio logo on it. He wears it when he feels down because it’s like a connection with home, makes him feel safe. I’m honestly concerned now and there’s nothing I want to do more than run over there, hug him and cheer him up but I can’t find it in myself to interrupt this beautiful sound that is still filling my ears, so when I notice Mark filming him, I just reach him instead. He stops the video for a moment and turns to me: “I don’t know what’s gotten into him man, he’s been like this the whole day, he spent the whole time you were gone alone in the bed and when we asked him to play something for the soundcheck he just started playing like this”. Now I’m even more concerned. He then adds: “We tried to cheer him up but he wasn’t having it so we decided to wait for you and stuff but I was filming it because I think we could use it for the recap videos I’m working on, you know the sleepers series?” I only vaguely register what he’s saying ‘cause my eyes are glued to him again. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I find myself asking and I barely see a smile forming on Mark’s face before he says: “Yeah, it really is”. He starts filming again but a few seconds later the song is over and I see my Tyler running off the stage and turning the corner to go back to the dressing rooms without looking at anybody so I take my chance to reach him and start run after him. “Tyler! Wait!” I’m full on screaming and I don’t care because it’s not even working, he's not stopping and I feel adrenaline rush through my body as I realize I cannot let him lock himself in one of those rooms before I get to him. He only stops when I finally manage to grab his arm and turn him around to face me while I’m still chanting his name to get his attention. “Tyler please tell me what’s wrong” I desperately ask him but he’s just shaking his head so I keep going: “At least look at me? Please, Tyler” this stirs something in him and he finally stops moving, looks at me with his big doe-eyes and starts crying. Just like that. You see, the thing about loving someone like I love him, is that the thing you hate the most is seeing them cry. It is one thing to handle a sad person, but it becomes completely impossible to witness the person you love give up to all his defences and just cry in front of you. You can't stand it, it breaks your heart, shatter it into a million pieces. You stay there, and all you can think about is how you would give them the whole world just to see a smile on their face again. And when it is Tyler that we're talking about, it's even worse because I know him and I know that he can get sad sometimes, I know what he's fighting every day, but I also know he never cries. Never breaks all his walls down and just cries in front of you. So right now, standing in front of him and seeing him cry is destroying me just as much. I instantly hold him in my arms as tight as I can and I feel him relax a little bit but he’s still full on sobbing, so I start to leave little kisses on his forehead until I can feel him going quiet. A couple minutes of us just standing there together and then I take his hand and I guide him in one of the dressing rooms, I make him sit on a couch and hand him a red bull. He smiles at me and my heart just melts. Thank God for that smile. “Wanna tell me what’s going on Ty?” I tentatively ask. He sighs, looks down and finally starts explaining: “So I was already feeling down earlier this afternoon and I knew it was going to be a dark day, but I’ve had them before, right? So, nothing I couldn’t survive, right? But then things started to pile up in my mind, like when I had to get out of the bus to go soundcheck and I saw all those fans camping out there and god knows how long they’ve been there just to see us you know? I started to ask myself if I was worth the time those guys have spent out there. Then somebody of the crew asked about the new album telling me they were so excited about it and that got me too because a lot of people are very excited about it and what if they don’t like it Josh? What then? I would disappoint everybody Josh, you, the fans, my family, everybody! And I cannot take that, I can’t survive it. Then it all felt too much and I needed to take my mind off all that so I started to play and Mark asked me to do We don’t believe what’s on tv because of something he’s working on but I didn’t really feel like doing it the normal way and I played the acoustic version instead. Honestly that just made me even more insecure about myself so when I finished I was just about to lock myself somewhere but then I saw you and I don’t know I just broke down in your arms.” He finally finishes his rant and that leaves me wide-eyed. It’s not the first time I have to witness Tyler’s insecurities take over his mind but it’s just as wrecking every time, I just wish he could see himself the way I see him. I couldn’t find a flaw in him even if I wanted, he’s perfect to me and I won’t ever stop trying to convince him too. “Tyler, you could never let me down, I love you and I will always support you, we can even take a break right after this tour if you want, we’re going your pace ok? And the fans love you too you know, I mean not like I love you, but in a way, they do too. They love what you create, they love you as an artist and they are here for you, they chose to be here for you, for us. And I’m sure they’re gonna love the next album too Ty because honestly everything you produce it’s perfect, it’s so, I don’t know, it’s so you and you are perfect Ty. I’m telling you right here and I want you to never forget this, you are perfect Tyler and I won’t ever be disappointed in you and I will always be here with you.” I hope he believes me because it’s all so true. Well, I think it worked at least a little bit because his eyes are now shining, he’s smiling and he’s looking at me as if I’m the most beautiful thing on this planet and I can only feel love and admiration filling up my whole chest right now. “I couldn’t do any of this without you, you know that?” he says with his angelic voice. “Well, good thing I won’t ever leave your side then, angel” I hear him giggle at the nickname. “How did I end up so lucky?” he asks looking at me in that same way that’s keeping me alive. “I’m the one who’s lucky baby” and then he finally kisses me. It’s soft and delicate as if he’s trying to express everything he’s feeling just like that. I don’t ever want it to stop but at some point he detaches himself from me just to look me in the eye and tell me: “I love you Josh, like I never loved anybody else” and then he kisses me again and everything is just right.

**Author's Note:**

> So, first of all, english is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes and please notify them to me.  
> Also, this is my first ff and i need feedback so I'll send cookies to anyone who comments <3  
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
